Eleven absolutely unbreakable commandments for connecting with people, online and off. @ianaspin #cnmac10

Ian Aspin spoke at two sessions at the Christian New Media Conference on 16th October. Below we reproduce one of his excellent posts:

11 Social Content Commandments to Paint on Every Wall in Your Home and Work Place.

I could write a fancy introduction to ease us into these, but never mind that, I’ll just jump right in.

1)  We’ve gotta, gotta, gotta, gotta, gotta care.

It’s the foundation for every kind of success in dealing with people (and everything else!). We’ve got to work out exactly what caring means for the people we want to connect with.

Caring.  Caring.  Caring.

Figure out how to care for others, meet their needs, and say hello to a world of amazing possibilities. These exclusive treasures are closed to our non-caring counterparts.

Warning: we can’t fake it for long.  We’ll be exposed faster than a string vest dries on a windy washing line.

And remember, there’s an unbelievable return on caring.

Reboot the world?  Caring will do it!  Ask Don Tapscott and Anthony D. Williams of MacroWikinomics!

Financial rewards?  Absolutely.  (Who isn’t gonna want to deal with people who care about their customers, employer, co-workers, products, services, and the bigger picture, while making things great?)

I call the relationship between caring and its results “giveacrapanomics”.

2)  Know you’re not the centre of the universe.

You’re one of 6,845,609,960 people on our planet today (I’m so popular more than 0.001% of them follow me on Twitter tha knows!).

Think how many are outstandingly talented, geniuses even.  That’s a heck of a lot of people who are more talented than you or I!

And though we’re but a speck of dust, and the universe doesn’t revolve around us or depend on us, I still choose to believe we matter (even when we produce rubbish blog posts or talk crap!).

3)  Realise if we want to get attention we have lots and lots of competition.

Nearly two billion people use the internet.  That’s almost a third of the world’s population. Everyone can produce content, and it’s getting easier.

Do the maths.

If just a minuscule percentage produce web content in our area of interest (unless it’s Stray Shopping Carts (Trolleys!) of the Eastern United States), that means thousands, possibly millions of new items appear daily.  We’ve got to work smart, and hard, to produce outstanding stuff that stands out.

Why does the world need another crappy website saying the same things as 17,309,215 others?

Ordinary, average, OK are not good enough.  Figure out how to be remarkable, or forget it.

4)  Never forget we have to earn the right to have anyone take notice of us.

Note to most people:  No one cares about you or your website.  There’s no interest in your videos.  People aren’t bothered how desperate you are to get traffic or to be popular.  It makes no difference to them what happens to you.

If what we’re doing doesn’t appeal to people, we haven’t earned the right to their attention and we won’t get it.

5)  If just one person cares about us enough to look at our stuff, be incredibly grateful.

Attention is the rarest thing.

Why would anyone want to spend time with us when there’s a world of infinite possibilities, with unlimited opportunities, to access free, outstanding quality content on every imaginable topic? (Even if you’ve to wade through loadza rubbish to find it!)

So if just one reader likes and benefits from our stuff, be thankful, we’re doing something right for at least one person, that’s a start!  Let’s build on it.

Anyway, who said it was about numbers?  I’m one of the most followed, most listed, and probably one of the most attractive and charismatic people online but do ya hear me going on about it?  No ya don’t! (For the hard of thinking, that was a little humour right? ha ha!)

It’s about real connectedness.

It’s about being thankful.

It’s about using what we’ve already got to make a difference.

6)  Have something to say or do that matters.

Is there something you think is so important the world needs to know about it?  Decide what that thing (or things) is, and build everything you do around it.

We have one life.

Everything we do should somehow connect to that “big idea”.

Yes, be a fanatic.

Or be ordinary, beige, unremarkable, and be forgotten faster than this morning’s burnt toast.

We get to choose.

7)  Make an impact.

Do you want to?  Then do stuff that matters.  Forget the rest.

What does it mean to make an impact?

I don’t know, you have to figure it out.

It might be doing something massive, or just making someone laugh or baking them a pie (I totally love pies, all kinds, my fave is rhubarb, and for pudding, a gooseberry tart – send me one of each through the inter-web….oh no, best wait ‘till I see you in person).

8)  Strive to bring massive value to everyone we meet or connect with.

Our value is measured only in relation to the amount of value we bring to others.  You may have a different measure, but that’s mine.  And yes, you’re still a valuable human being, no matter what!  But ya get my drift.

Ask yourself “what can I do that’ll make everyone I encounter better off than they were before?”.

People don’t care about you or I or what we want.  They care about themselves and what they want.  Let’s be less selfish.  Let’s help others and most will love us back.  Can you see how that kind of thinking’s gonna get us what we want anyway, and make life a whole lot better?

9)  Be fantastically generous with our time, money, and kindness.

Much of the stuff that’s come into our life came despite our best efforts, or lack of them.  Lots of blessings and opportunities we already enjoy appeared at random.

Most reading this post were not born on a rubbish dump in some hell hole.

Good health, intelligence, a loving family, didn’t come to us because we deserved them but because we were lucky.  If we’re making the most of things, that’s great but don’t forget, our basic working materials could have been a lot less favourable.

Be generous.  Be kind.  Give and we will receive.  Always.

10)  Be outrageously committed to making the world better.

Decide where you can apply your strengths in the service of something bigger than yourself.  Find a compelling way to engage your energies in solving problems, helping people, and making a difference.

Look at all the stuff that needs doing.

Your boring blog isn’t worth the time.  Pick something massive to do instead, and share that.

The world absolutely needs us to roll up our sleeves and get stuck in.

11)  Relationships.  Relationships.  Relationships.  Take care to build and nurture them.

That’s it, the whole social web, the whole everything.

Summed up in three words;  Relationships.  Relationships.  Relationships.

There’s nothing more.  Our relationship to each other, to the planet, and to the spiritual dimension.

We can do nowt on our own.  We need each other.

Online, and off.

This post was first published on ‘Really Good Thinking‘ by Ian (Take an) Aspin on 23rd October 2010.

About bigbible

The #BigBible Project. Educating in the digital spaces, creating 'bigger Bible conversations' between #digidisciple(s). Look out for #bigread14.