#BIGRead14: Disappointment (Read by @gemmadunning)


Abba, I turn to you without energy,
the light of my eyes has gone,
my strength has fallen from me.

You know where my heart has been.
You know where my hopes were set.
You gave me that vision, that thought,
that dream.

Now it is gone
and without it I am as helpless as can be.
Like an asthmatic child, my spirit
wheezes where once I breathed deeply.

Like an arthritic elder, I cannot
walk as boldly as I used.
I cannot stride. It is as much
as I can do to shuffle.
the thought of dancing is abhorrent to me.
I would rather cry than sing.
If I tried to sing, I would wail.

Steady me, kindly Abba.
Help me not to hate the dream
that now lies shattered, or myself for
dreaming it.
Help me to overcome the shame of having hoped
in vain.

Help me not to rest in this disappointment but to pass
through it.
Help me to harvest the sad fruits in this garden
not for their sourness but for their strange sweetness.

With you the darkness is always the herald of dawn.
With you true hope is always new.
With you there is always blessing.

Send some kind angel to help
me find the blessing in this.
I cannot see it yet.

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