#BIGRead14: Loneliness (Read by @andydmitch)

Grrrr__let_me_out

I feel it come at unexpected times; that sense of not
belonging
that hijacks my confidence,
cracks my control,
warps my wellbeing.

Anything can set it off.
Time alone.
Crowds.
A phone call that ends abruptly.
A letter that never arrives.
Seeing a group of people happy together.
The celebrations of others.
Seeing a soul lost inside itself in confusion or pain or
boredom – and
thinking ‘that too is me’.
Even the mirror can make me lonely.
The real mirror or the reflective state of mind.
Mistakes, regrets, guilt – all these cut me off.
Shame too. that seals it.
Embarrassment, oddly, does not work like that. It makes an
awkward
connection. the blush is never lonely.
Loneliness has pale cheeks and sad, still eyes that look down.
Loneliness knows the look of the earth, the pavement, the path,
the road, the field, the floor – carpeted, wood or stone.

So here is my prayer to you
Three in one.
You!
One in three.
You!
Who are always in company.
Come, accept, respect, honour the loneliness that I know
but cannot share.
Come drink of the cup.
Not the cup of company or communion.
Come drink the cup of sorrow!
Drink it alone and to the dregs!
Drink it as I have done;
when my companions sleep;
when the tormentors torment;
when the mockers mock!

Drink the bitter gall of loneliness
extended on a sponge!
Drink loneliness with me and I will never be alone again!

And let me remember your drinking,
even when lost in my
self.

Action: Take the opportunity to respond through image, poetry, prayer, a Bible verse, text, tweets, or sharing something you’ve found or created online in the comments section below.

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